Bonkers

Jaz isn't big into demographics but suspects that there may be a trend emerging of shorter life expectancies among certain Western communities. How else to explain today's news that 24-year-old Dizzee Rascal has signed a book deal and will be relating his memoirs (thus far) via autobiography before he even gets a Number 1 album? This begs the question: when do we now qualify as ready for penning our 'life' history?

If, dreading a long arduous train journey, you went to the autobiography section of your nearest WH Smith ten years ago, you'd maybe be looking at Nelson Mandela, Audrey Hepburn, potentially moaning Morrissey. Don't get us wrong, it doesn't strictly have to do with age: what valuable tidbits can we really be learning from Lulu, for instance (besides the latest 2-for-1s from Morrisons)? But the former had substantial stories to tell and not just a fast buck to make. Much like Greatest Hits album, autobiographies no longer signal the swan song in a person's career. So, think before you breathe that sigh of relief as your eyes pass over the latest chapter in the Katie Price saga.

Sure, Dizzee has apparently had a difficult upbringing, but will that enrich our experience when grinding like muppets to hits such as Bonkers, Dirtee Cash and Dance Wiv Me? Next time we rap along to Holiday... I know you're really busy and I know you've got plans/But are you really too busy for a sun tan... knowledge of the fact that Dizzee once got stabbed on vacation in Cyprus is sure to get our summer juices flowing. Really Dizzee, could you not have just gone on Piers Morgan's Life Stories instead?

Jaz x