"The M&S advert with At The River is unforgivable. I've lost count of the number of people who've told us they got married to that song and now watching their wedding's like seeing an ad for chilli con carne or ice cream and chocolate sauce." - Tom Findlay, Groove Armada
In case you've yet to hear us banging on about how marvellous it all is that Groove Armada have taken a leap into the night and rediscovered the '80s and Roxy Music, Jaz shall hammer the point home once more for your benefit. We met with Tom Findlay, one half of the Superstylin' duo, to bond over our mutual Manchester alumni status while discussing the dark times that influenced their bold redirection, the celebs they've been rubbing shoulders with ahead of Lovebox and the Sugababe who never took up their offer of a second date. Oh the tribulations of being a superstar DJ.
It's the last day in February of a common year 2010, which indicates extremely poor research on the part of the Universal Pictures' marketing team behind new dross romcom, Leap Year. As Jaz's off-nights don't get any more exciting than soap-flicking and staring at wood-chipped walls, the film's trailer provides nil incentive to break that comparably gut-busting cycle. Tonight, however, Jaz has quite the pickle to prepare for and needs help from anyone with experience of trying to squeeze two entirely separate affairs into one hoodwinking, two-timing evening...
Several months ago Jaz attempted to secure a date with a certain up-and-comer who you may have heard of. The one they call Lady Gaga (or Stefani) is in Glasgow tomorrow but after a mere year in the limelight would not have time for press and shot us down. It was disappointing, yet in the grand scheme of things it's unlikely to be as dashing (depending on your levels of optimism) as spending a tenner going to see Leap Year. With their 13 years or so near the top of UK dance charts, however, the far humbler Groove Armada who also perform in Glasgow on Monday, were more than happy to accommodate a Jaz request for tea and biscuits.
Then, in typical fashionably-late style, Jaz is invited via e-mail this Friday past to watch her Gaga-ness. Despite prior rejection, Jaz throws aside any pride and self-respect and laps up the offer like a thick, tongue-waggling puppy dog. Now we must cover both GA and Gaga in approximately four hours. Already it's causing much anxiety: Jaz jump-starts this morning with a premonition of stumbling over mispronunciations of Groove Argaga, quoting "I'm a free bitch baby... shakin' that ass", and co-ordinating an outfit at once chillout sophisti-cat and bizarr-o Glamorama...
Stresses aside, Jaz is surprised to learn that Groove Armada's latest album is only just hitting the shops tomorrow. Our promo copy of Black Light has been on loop since December. And, before you ask, Jaz hasn't descended into tragic, middle-class, generically soundtracked dinner party territory. This really is a very exciting release. In fact, you won't even recognise the House-bestselling, advertisement-monopolising duo. This time they've swapped Mutya for Empire Of The Sun's Nick Littlemore, Will Young and Roxy Music's legendary Bryan Ferry. Think dark, think '80s, think... guitars?! One highlight is lead single and soulful spirit-lifter, I Won't Kneel. Enjoy the lie-in fishies...
Brit teen-drama-come-national-health-warning Skins has featured its fair share of brilliant guest roles over the past four years: Danny Dyer, Bill Bailey, Harry Enfield, Peter Capaldi, etc, etc.Last night saw Will Young cameo as a Jacko-worshipping ultra-peculiar school counsellor, illustrating what may have happened had the camp one never entered Pop Idol.
Most confusion, however, stemmed not from that, nor from Effy's sudden overnight diagnosis of psychotic depression, but from the fact that Effy and Freddie treat their friends Emily and Katie Fitch's father like they've never met him before. Granted, the two plastered love birdsare always mashed, gurning, baked, chewing their faces off, toking marijuana and dropping acid 24/7 (but in a totally non-lethal, still-living-with-parents, going-to-school way), and Father Fitch looks like he's having a bit of an off day, it's hard to imagine they could treat him like they have no idea who he is. My constant bewilderment as to the sheer discourtesy of some youngsters in Bristol means the episode is completely lost on me. Seriously, how rude...
Slowly it becomes clear. Stand-up comedian John Bishop who plays Father Fitch (he's anything but a priest - or a Bishop - Jaz just doesn't recall his first name) is not this man. This man is ex-Happy Mondays baggy nutter Bez who has very few acting skills (or skills of any kind) but possesses an unnerving likeness to the man Bishop. Was this a cheap trick by Skins' producers to make the audience feel utterly off their heads too, or is Jaz just going completely b-a-n-a-n-a-s?
P.S. MTV is planning an Americanised version of Skins. *Yawn*
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